Post by Jabberwocky on Sept 7, 2015 15:54:14 GMT
And it's Chapter FIVE! Wow. It is finally time for some new babies. That teenager stage sure is a long one.
Astoria Bears and Brandybuck Bears moved out. All that's left is Constance, Dorian, El-ahrairah, Farkas, Guinevere, and of course, our lovely founder: Alaska.
It is about time for some new babies! Let's dive in head first, shall we?
Farkas: Guinevere! WHYYY!!!!
Guinevere: I didn't do anything! It was a FINGER GUN!
Farkas: You shot me! You shot MEEEE!
Guinevere: It's not real.
Farkas: Bullets are real!
Guinevere: FINGER GUN!
Guinevere: Don't think for one second I'm falling for your manipulative tricks.
El-ahrairah: Huh?
Guinevere: Farkas might be the resident cinnamon roll, but that does not give you liberty to corrupt his mind.
El-ahrairah: I would never!
Guinevere: I heard all the things he's been saying. I KNOW you hang out with him all the time. Stop telling him lies!
El-ahrairah: H-how did you know? Are you psychic?
Guinevere: What? No, I just followed a logical pattern of-
El-ahrairah: Ohmygod! Can you read my mind right now? Guess what color I'm thinking of!
Guinevere: Um... red?
El-ahrairah: PSYCHIC!
Guinevere: What...? No! It's literally your favorite color, bro.
Benjamin: Hey! I got your invitation, I- where are you going?
Alaska: I'll give you a back rub after work!
Benjamin: But that's eleven hours away...
Alaska: Bye!
Benjamin: What was the point of inviting me?
Constance: Horse.
Benjamin: Oh, you must be Constance. I'm Benjamin Long. Nice to meet you.
Constance: Horse... *suspicious musings*
Constance: Horse..?
Benjamin: Uh, yah, I like horses. Can... can you stop slapping my hand like that... please... seriously cut that out.
Constance: HORSE!
Benjamin: Yes, I like horses. I already said that...
Constance: HOOOOOOORSE! *nods in approval*
Still the bestest of buds.
El-ahrairah: Yes, that's right: you have to take out the trash, and ONLY you!
Farkas: Thanks for warning me about the squid that eats naughty children. I was really in danger there.
El-ahrairah: Yes, well, now that you're doing my-YOUR chores, you have nothing to fear. Keep being a good kid, Farkas.
Oh Farkas, what ARE you doing?
Farkas: Not are, it's ARRR! I am a pirate you see.
Is this one of El-ahrairah's tricks?
Farkas: ... no?
I need to have a talk with that boy.
Farkas: About what?
Just carry on as usual.
Benjamin: Why all the kissing suddenly?
Alaska: I've been waiting for this alll day!
Benjamin: Hello! I've been standing here bored while you went to work AND napped!
Brandybuck..?
Brandybuck: Thou feasts thine eyes upon emptiness!
Is that our invisible newspaper?
Brandybuck: Absolute emptiness!
Back to the SIm Bin with you, sir! And stay there!
Alaska: I love to SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Benjamin: OH GOD I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST PLEASE STOP!
Alaska: I'm so glad you said so!
Constance! Did you poke your brother?
Constance: Horse.
El-ahrairah: WAAAAHHHHHHH!
Why do I have to play mother here...
Dorian: Constance! Apologize!
Constance: Horssssssse...
Dorian: Even if I was a horse, not only would I be the most ravishing stallion ever, but I would still be demanding you apologize.
Constance: Horse?
Dorian: Yes, in horse language. Which you would have to translate.
Constance: Horse, horse...
Dorian: That's better. Now go apologize, and then maybe you can get me a horse.
Constance: Horse!
Dorian: Yes, I would look fabulous riding a pure white horse. Make sure it's a stallion.
Constance: Horse...?
El-ahrairah: Is... is this an apology? I don't understand where you're going with this conversation here...
Aww, the little babus, asleep in their beds like good little-
Farkas: Turn off the light!
Guinevere: You're keeping me awake!
Farkas: My retinas!!!!!
El-ahrairah: I'm still mad at you, but I HAVE to pee!
Constance: Horse.
El-ahrairah: Eew, no! On a toilet like a normal person.
Reading.... ROMANCE???
Guinevere: I saw Mommy with this guy in their underwear, and Farkas said there's a book like that on the shelf.
Please go pick up Pendragon or Charlie Bone or something, anything but THAT!
Alaska: CHEF SALAD!
*grumble mumble*
Alaska: WHAT'S THAT? CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY CHEF SALAD!
Alaska: Yes, Headmaster, please come and intelligentize my children? What's that? ... No, not for me, my children. Why do you ask?
El-ahrairah: And THEN I told him garbage cans smell bad because that is a fairy morgue, and he is smelling all the corpses!
Dorian: That's nice. Go teach Guinevere to study.
El-ahrairah: Wow. Kill the mood man.
Dorian: I have an important rendezvous with my mirror. So, if you'll excuse me!
El-ahrairah: So that is how to tell the difference between there, their, and they're, as well as your and you're. Congratulations. Your now ahead of most of the population.
Guinevere: You forgot the apostrophe in 'you're'.
El-ahrairah: YOU ARE PSYCHIC! OHMYGOD!
Farkas: Please don't blow up on me... please don't blow up on me... please don't blow up on me...
It's not a bomb
Farkas: Shhhhh, that's what they want you to think!
Headmaster: Hello Ms. Bears! I'm the Headmaster.
Alaska: Oh wow! I haven't banged you before. SEEN! I meant SEEN! *cough cough* Terrible flu... How about a TOUR!
Headmaster: *cheering noise*
Alaska: Why are you cheering?
Headmaster: This is the, uh, best angle. Yes. love the b-roooom!
Alaska: Broom?
Headmaster: Love them... love them... it... I love it, as in, this room... *heavy breathing* *licks lips*
o.o
Alaska: Hey, come here!
Cooking I see.
Alaska: Guess what it is?
Spaghetti?
Alaska: NOT. GRILLED. CHEESE.
Farkas: ...
Guinevere: Why are you staring at me?
Farkas: I'm sending you a message with my mind.
Guinevere: That doesn't work actually.
Farkas: But El-ahrairah says you're a psychic.
Guinevere: I'm really not.
Farkas: ..........
Guinevere: Just eat your spaghetti and stop staring.
Alaska: A baby bump!
Nah, it's just all that spaghetti. This is why I said to stick with Grilled Cheese: no bloating.
Alaska: Shut up. It's a baby and you know it.
A food baby, maybe.
Alaska: I heard the chimes! You can not refute them! They dictate life!
Late night for homework.
Farkas: The squid.... I can hear it... coming for me.
Please go to bed. You're scaring me...
Farkas: Yes! The squid's benevolence rains down on my grades!
You got an A+?
Farkas: Of course! The squid always rewards the hard working!
The squid also bestows the gift of frolicking apparently... I need a hill of roses and a blue sky, stat!
Wow, she makes Grilled Cheese ONE time in forever, and this is the reaction I get...
Thanks, Constance.
Thanks.
Now everyone hates me.
Alaska: How did you know I wanted to dance with you?
Guinevere: I just guessed!
Dorian: Wow, you must be psychic!
Guinevere: Stop please!
Constance: HORSE!!!!
Alaska: I'm getting the bathroom ready for the new toilet.
Constance: HORSE!
Alaska: No, toilet! What do they teach you in that private school anyway?
Farkas: Disembodied entity, why do we do homework in here now?
Because it's the homework room.
Farkas: Are these shrooms on the wall? Are they actual shrooms? Will I get high off of homework?
I don't even...
Why you hate my wallpaper? ;-;
Dorian: Hey there, disembodied entity! Check me out!
You have acne.
Dorian:....
*glass shattering Darth Vader scream* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
El-ahrairah: Get off the swing!
Constance: Horse.
El-ahrairah: I've been pushing you for hours! GET OFF!
Constance: Horse horse.
El-ahrairah: SAY THAT TO MY FACE!
Farkas: So what's it like being psychic? Do you read my mind ALL the time? Do you know the answer to life, the universe, everything? Is it forty-two? Does the squid speak to you and give you good grades? Can you move this horse with your mind?
Guinevere: *internally screaming*
Got some pointers from Dorian I see. Keep at it.
Alaska: Aww, hush. It's just a little painting.
El-ahrairah: You kicked my face!
Constance: Horse.
El-ahrairah: Yah! You horse kicked my face!
El-ahrairah: Go cry to someone who cares, freak!
Constance; HORSE! *rage of fury*
El-ahrairah: Victory!
El-ahrairah: My, how time flies! I used to be the wimpy kid brother. I JUST kicked Constance's butt today! Who's the wimpy kid now!
Dorian: Only wimpy kids kick ladies' butts. That and weird men in creepy bedrooms. I would NEVER kick a lady's butt, because I am the best gentleman in the world.
Is that a second bump? When did that happen?
Alaska: Shchrakdfhaedh... gnight.
Alaska: Ah, forget it. I shall now commence having a baby. AAAGHHH!!!!!
Oh please keep the volume down. Trying to listen to the radio in the kitchen.
Well, it's a start. She is the first to have Skin number one.
Alaska: Oh hush. She'd be perfect either way. I'm going to name her Hermione!
Farkas: I knew it! The invisible teleporting ninja DOES bring babies! Those cartoons about the stork lied!
Dorian: Yah, yah. Please go back to bed before you pass out near the perfectly straight hems of my chocolate silk pajamas.
Alaska: Hey Dorian. Go take care of Hermione. I need, uh, to play with the remote car!
Perfect mother right there.
Autonomous snuggling! What is it with the naturally fatherly male sims here?
Oh, wait, spoke to soon. Thanks for leaving her on the floor, Dorian. The crib was only FOUR INCHES AWAY!
I don't like where this is going. Why so much hate, Constance?
Then again, she was very isolated as a toddler and child. I checked her relationships bar. She hates El-ahrairah, Alaska, and dislikes Brandybuck. She is neutral to everyone else except Dorian, her best friend, and Farkas who is a friend. That is literally it.
Constance: HORSE!
Alaska: Hey, Komei! Remember me? I'm Alaska Bears, from the grocery store! Yes! I was wondering if you liked kids.
DORIAN!
WHY ARE THERE TWO UNFINISHED HOMEWORKS!
GET IN HERE DORIAN!!!!
El-ahrairah: You are plotting, aren't you?
Constance: Horse *nods in approval*
El-ahrairah: Gawd, why are we doing homework near each other?
I was hoping it would help you get along.
El-ahrairah: But she scares me!!!
Alaska: Yah, let's talk about cookies. I love cookies. Cookies are the bomb.com. I like snickerdoodles and those fudge cookies. Now will you PLEASE come over?
Dorian: Aww, you didn't have to!
Have to what?
Dorian: Center the easel in the middle of the room. I mean, I'm flattered that you would let me be spotlighted in such a way!
Just finish your masterpiece young man. The family needs that six hundred bucks.
Guinevere, why is Rushkin here?
Guinevere: We are friends from school!
But he's not in private school.
Guinevere: He came to the after school soccer game. Just let me have a friend please.
Oh fine. Just don't interfere with my legacy plans!
Oh, the dilemma of Pleasure Sims.
El-ahrairah: I'M BORED! OH PLUMBOB! HELP ME!
Guinevere: And before you ask, no, I'm not psychic.
Rushkin: Wow! How did you know I was going to ask that? You ARE a psychic!
Really, Rushkin... really?
And hey! Rushkin's uncle! Check out that nose... that terrible, unfortunate nose... Tiger Amitola showed up at Input Output where I sent El-ahrairah to HOPEFULLY stop being bored.
Ela-hrairah: I'M BORED!
There are video games EVERYWHERE! And manga. Sheesh. I built this FOR YOU!
There's a couch behind you, El-ahrairah.
El-ahrairah: I don't need to see the TV to win this game! I can operate on instinct alone!
Suit yourself.
Back at home...
Guinevere: We're having a birthday?
El-ahrairah: MUCH PSYCHIC! LEL! TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
Guinevere: Not the Doge, anything but that please...
Farkas: This is it everybody! I shall now enter into a cocoon and emerge a butterfly!
Alaska: Huh, what a nice uniform you're wearing, El-ahrairah.
El-ahrairah: Thanks, Mom.
Farkas: Um, Mommy, I'm trying to say my goodbyes before metamorphosis.
Alaska: Did you iron it yourself?
El-ahrairah: Yes! Just this morning. Did I miss a spot.
Alaska: No, it looks great!
Farkas: B-but... butterfly time...
*insert ridiculous amount of birthday cheer*
*hrnk* That nose...
Farkas: What? Are my butterfly wings there?
No dear. Nevermind. Why don't you take a shower. Constance is passing out back there.
Constance: Horkse-achk-blech!!
*sexy sax player rises from the shower mists, the strains Carelss Whisper's sax solo filling the air*
Farkas: .... why?
*huffs* *puts sexy sax player away*
Not a fan of that hair with that face, but it will do.
Farkas: I don't understand... what did I do to deserve such mean comments?
Nothing.
Farkas: Can I go now?
Yes, cinnamon roll. Go be free now.
Farkas: I'm not a butterfly?
Nope.
Farkas: I guess I can be a cinnamon roll. I'll do that then.
Guinevere: Wait, it's ONE two three, like this, not one TWO three.
Dorian: I SAY IT'S THIS WAY!
Guinevere: But-
Dorian: Shhhh! Don't question me! I am the epitome of all there is, was, and ever will be!
Guinevere: It's just a dance, bro...
Komei: AHHH!!!!
Alaska: *smooooooooch*
You're not disturbed or traumatized, Guinevere?
Guinevere: Eh. I read that romance book over there, remember.
ALASKA!!!!!! GET THOSE BOOKS OFF YOUR SHELF!
Komei: I'm Scorpio.
Well, that explains the severe introversion and abhorrence to physical contact.
Wait, what's this?
EL-AHRAIRAH BEARS, GET OUT OF THAT BED!
El-ahrairah: But it's so comfy.
BABIES BEFORE COMFORT!
How are you driving that car?
Guinevere: Um, this remote.
What remote? Are you telekinetic?
Guinevere: The remote. In my hand.
The psychic is strong in this one!
Guinevere: Really? The one in my hand. This black box with buttons and knobs. Does anyone see this?
AHHH! A DUSTBALL OF FURY!
Oh, it's just El-ahrairah and Constance fighting.
Constance: Horse.
I'm getting real mad now, woman!
And now you've been working out.
Constance: Horse!
Yah, hot as a thoroughbred. Now please shower.
Komei: Wow! I feel so light-headed!
Maybe cause part of it is missing.
El-ahrairah: Nice painting.
Dorian: Um, duh! I'M the one painting it!
El-ahrairah: Thanks for having the easel in the center of the room so no one can easily manuver from area to area, but instead, get stuck staring at your painting.
My baboo's works must be admired by all.
Dorian: Preach it!
El-ahrairah: Oh no, there goes his head. Yup. Inflated another two inches.
WOOHOOO!
Farkas: Mom, why are you in your underwear?
Alaska: It was... um... I was overheating... dehydration and all that!
Farkas: I shall completely and utterly fall for this highly inane ploy and not suspect intercourse whatsoever!
Alaska: Much as I love playing chess with you, Komei, maybe we should put actual clothes on before the children start getting smart.
Komei: *pbbt* Like that will happen... I caught your son whispering to the toy yacht about the burrs and the peas. He does know about the actual 'talk', right?
All I asked for was ONE shower...
Farkas: Aww, Hermione is growing up so fast.
El-ahrairah: Does this mean we get to throw the diaper changing station out forever?
Don't dream too big.
Farkas: Yah! Soon the burrs and the peas will come together in a union and the invisible teleporting ninja will bring a new baby!
*cough* Right, El-ahrairah...
El-ahrairah: I regret nothing.
No. No. No. God no. No. Noooooo!
Wow, never took a new pic. Um, after changing hair and clothes, we got Hermione potty trained.
Dorian: Don't let your superior brother soil his hands with your feces. Use this potty instead.
Hermione: Wa-wee!
Alaska: Say... puddle.
Hermione: Puddle ewwywhere! Spwash! Swapsh!
El-ahrairah: So, Dorian, can I-
Dorian: No.
El-ahrairah: But-
Dorian: No.
El-ahrairah: ...
Guinevere: Hey, Constance, I'm going to go grow up now.
Constance: Horse!
Guinevere: No, I think I'll still be human...
And so, she grew up. There was no cake or party or any witnesses.
Well, except for this...
Farkas: What? A new butterfly! We must fight to determine who is the most beautiful butterfly!
Guinevere: WHHHAAAT???
Farkas: Come at me, butterfly! I'll show you who's boss!
So, how was the fight?
Guinevere: I totally showed him who's boss. Nah, just kidding. I explained I was NOT going to fight him, and instead, gave up my vouch for the most beautiful butterfly title.
And you changed your look.
Guinevere: Yah, green never was my color.
Guinevere loves El-ahrairah, but the feeling is note entirely mutual.
El-ahrairah: It's not that I don't like her, it's just, I could be doing other things. Fun things. Instead, I get to bottle feed her.
Second bump? What?
Alaska: This is what you get for not paying attention to me.
ALL YOU DO IS SLEEP!
I bought a replacement easel, but EVERYONE was so upset over the loss of the first one.
Rest In Peace oh great EASEL!
Matching PJs, easels, hair colors... oh, brothers...
Alaska: That's it! Come to Mommy!
Hermione: Momma eat me!
Alaska: No, Mommy is just yawning.
Farkas, you have your own bed.
Farkas: But my bed is-
Oh, please keep the crazy down. Just go to sleep then.
I love watching Alaska just be a Mom once in a while. With all the chaos around, a break for relaxation and fun is so nice.
As is fitting, Constance grows up alone with only Dorian to really pay attention. She has successfully made enemies of everyone except him and Farkas.
I see that you have your mother's approval.
Alaska: *snrt hrnk* nomnom zzzz
Lash blast those eyelashes and you are right as a horse.
Constance: Horse?
Of course! You get your own house!
Constance: Horse.
Yes, a house!
Constance: Horse...
Constance leaves. Farkas and Guinevere say goodbye.
Hermione cute spam!
Mango! Who invited you? You're as bad as Kitsune. Just waltz in and do shtuff like you own the place.
Alaska: AAGHHH!!!
Mango: Oo, that's kinda scary. I mean, I had two already, but it still surprises me.
Alaska: GET OOOOWWWWWW OUT OF MY HOOOOWWWW HOUSE!
Meet Isolde Bears!
Alaska: She is my precious! Oh my goodness! look at those big brown eyes!
I end this chapter with more Hermione spam!