My Sims usually look happy or at least well off in the majority of my pictures, but here you have it: an average day at the Bears': crying, smelly babies and neglected toddlers.
*cue incessant wailing*
El-ahrairah: Ahh, isn't that better? No more stinky diaper. Hey, disembodied entity, can we train babies to use the potty?
No.
El-ahrairah: Crap! ... Pun intended...
Dorian: I'm going to move out soon and buy the most expensive, illustrious horse ranch ever, mom.
Alaska: No! You can't grow up! Who's going to autonomously change all the baby diapers?
Dorian: That's your reasoning?
Alaska: I mean, oh no... my poor baby... my they grow up fast...
Delivery Guy: Here are those groceries you ordered!
Alaska: Hey! You're not the usual Delivery Girl! Wanna make some babies?
Delivery Guy: Eh... I think... I... uh... Wow, got so many deliveries to do. Bye!
He's not buying into this challenge, girl.
Alaska: Rats! And he was so good looking too!
Parents! Are your children showing early onset auto-cannibalism?
Call a random 800 number now!
Hermione: Nom nom!
Guinevere: No, no, it's really quite simple: El-ahrairah is a terrible, horrible liar, and he should NOT be trusted!
Farkas: So, there really aren't teleporting ninjas that bring babies?
Guinevere: No.
Farkas: Clapping and slapping rituals don't make cupcakes appear?
Guinevere: No.
Farkas: Unicorns don't give ice cream?
Guinevere: We have left you with El-ahrairah for FAR too long!
Farkas: *world views crushed... denial and hopelessness setting in...*
Who let her out of her crib?
Hermione: Na na!
Just don't make a beeline for the toilet, please. We already have puddles everywhere.
Farkas: Hey, disembodied entity...
Yes?
Farkas: Who gives me good grades if not the Squid?
Um, your teachers do, buddy.
Farkas: Oh... well, okay...
Dorian: *sniffle* No one will care that I'm leaving.
I'll care.
Guinevere: I'll care.
Dorian: No one IMPORTANT will care!
... How am I NOT important? I am the reason you exist, boy!
Farkas: Where did those pancakes come from?
Guinevere: Um, Mom's inventory.
Farkas: Did you TELEPORT them here!!
Guinevere: Oh gawd, not again...
Farkas: PSYCHIC!!!
Farkas: Must... block.... Guinevere... mental.... signals....
For God sakes, remember to breathe, please!
It's about time Hermione got her closeup and a decent outfit on. Here she is looking VERY serious. Dang. Her Dad really is Benjamin.
I see you're the one that got stuck with the only Grilled Cheese.
El-ahrairah: *internally screaming*
Look how happy he is!
Look at it!
I would be fawning over the cuteness. I would. But Hermione always looks SO perturbed about something.
How you not put baby in crib, woman!? IT IS RIGHT THERE! I swear you are like Dora the Explorer with your inability to find GIANT NEARBY OBJECTS!
Alaska: Huh? What? Crib? I know, I need to go buy one. There's never a crib in this house. Do you see a crib anywhere?
*tears up a map and strangles a pair of boots*
Alaska: PBBBT GWAH UGGGH!!!
Maybe it would be easier to fix if you took the trash out first...
Alaska: THERE'S MUSHY CHEF SALAD IN MY EYE!!!
El-ahrairah: Who is this guy? Seriously! Will he ever leave our house!!!
Maybe he's secretly all yalls father and he's just checking up on you.
El-ahrairah: He is the most annoying person on the planet! Seriously!
Kitsune: ...
It's ok, I still love you Kitsune.
Alaska: Um... hi...
Kitsune is SO excited for some stranger's kid's birthday.
Aww, hell, he's practically part of the family.
Alaska: Yes, please ignore the rotting fish and just blow out the candles, baby girl.
Hermione: Smewwy fwish! Yuck!
Last spam of auto-cannibal Hermione as a toddler.
Hermione: And in this corner.... Alaaaaaaska Bears!
Alaska: And I crossed my fingers that I'd get a normal one.
We have yet to see actual proof that she's a weirdo.
At least the seriousness was not genetic. That's a lovely transition outfit dear.
Hermione: I hunger for human flesh.
Please don't start.
You look moderately happy.
Dorian: Mom said I'm the best babysitter ever!
She left without me! Where did she go?
Oh good. Just getting it on with the locals.
Alaska: SSHHHH!!!
Brandon: Aye lurv me a gooood drink now and then *hic*
Wow. Great catch, Alaska.
Alaska: Intelligent ones are more likely to catch on!
Oh. Well carry on then.
Just had to mention: apparently I placed the DJ Booth too close to the wall. Poor DJ spent all night frustrated.
Brandon: Thish ish a goooooood day!
Alaska: Yes, yes. You're hot and stuff. Let's go to my house and make babies.
Brandon: Afshter I napsh... yesh.... *hrrrnk*
Alaska: Ugh. Time to try my prospects elsewhere.
Well, Input Output is a fun place.
Alaska: No! I do not like drinking blood, thanks. Weirdo.
Vampire: Ugh, pathetic mortal!
Background Guy: Hey, can I get in on this legacy?
This isn't a legacy. Better luck next time.
Vampire: Cancer.
Alaska: Say what?
Taking notes...
Alaska: *sigh* Let's see if this place has- wait, is that Brandon? Is he following me?
Brandon: You see nothing! *hrnk*
Oh gawd, go drink some coffee, Brandon >.> and take a cold shower.
Why is the classy restaurant empty?
Maybe cause the entire staff wants to be in the kitchen all at once.
And wow, talk about a soulless void...
Alaska: Huh, never heard of this winery before.
It's a new trend.
Alaska: May as well see who's here.
Bartender: Hello! Welcome to the winery! I'm Abbot Danelli.
Alaska: Helloooo baby daddy!
Abbot: Um... what was that?
Alaska: Hi handsome! Let me shimmy on over to your bar here.
*hrnk* Say there, Cyrano, don't turn my challenge into a tragedy here.
Alaska: *harsh whisper* Shut up, disembodied entity... *normal voice* Hey there, I'm Alaska Bears.
Abbot: Nice to meet you.
El-ahrairah: *singing the song of his people*
Dorian: If only you were a baby harp seal, I'd throw you into the Arctic. REAL MEN STUDY IN SILENCE!
Daaw, the precious baboo!
Alaska: Her NAME is Isolde.
What's wrong with baboo?
Alaska: Sounds like baboon. I have a theory that's the reason they all act like crazy monkeys.
Farkas: I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY!!!!
Kitsune: ................!!!!
Farkas: WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?
Aww, Farkas, what's wrong?
Farkas: I don't know how to function... like... everything I have ever known is an absolute lie, isn't it? I know NOTHING about the world, or life. I just...
Oh, jeez, don't be that way... Um... El-ahrairah told the absolute truth about everything.
Farkas: He DID?
Yah, please just go back to being a happy cinnamon roll.
It's anyone's guess why he's cheering all of a sudden...
Alaska: I love a man in a uniform!
Abbot: It's just an apron.
Alaska: A UNIFORM-ISH APRON!
Abbot: *swoon*
El-ahrairah: I hope you grow into a clueless cinnamon roll like your big brother Farkas. He is a dumb.
Hey, you made him that way.
El-ahrairah: Heck yah!
Due to rearrangements, there is only one study table. I apologize for the inconvenience.
*collective grumble*
That's right, you better sleep peacefully. Soon you too shall have to endure the trials of homework.
El-ahrairah: Hey, Guinevere, think you could use your mind tricks to get me a girlfriend at school?
Guinevere: I'll need more than simple mind tricks to get YOU even a regular friend.
El-ahrairah: That's below the belt...
Farkas: And with these led unicorn rainbows, I create an image from my mind!
Who let you near El-ahrairah again?
El-ahrairah: *offscreen* teehee
Alaska: Remember, stupid people go to prison.
Hermione: This... this isn't human flesh! How am I supposed to eat it?
Dorian: Well, enough of this teen stuff. Time to move on!
Dorian: Who's an adult? I'm an adult! Adulting everywhere like nobody's business!
Oh gawd, get a different outfit!
Dorian: What why?
If you could SEE yourself!!!!!
Dorian: So hot right now!
That is a lot of purple.
Dorian: My swegness cannot be contained, fool! All the girls will come crowding around me soon enough!
Who gave you permission to grow up!?
Well, Isolde did not get a cake. But she did get a cute face. Congratulations girl.
Dorian left and only I cared.
Hey girl, what's up?
Hermione: Mom's ordering dinner.
Can you guys really afford to blow money on pizza?
Hermione: I don't know. Someone called "Abbot".
That's her... friend, not dinner!
Hermione: *licks lips*
Yet another case of weird cravings...
Turning up the heat! Whoot! Baby J on the waaaaaay!
What? Why are you there all alone?
Alaska: He had to use the bathroom.
We'll see about that!
Hey, kids, you seen a redhead dude running around here?
Farkas: You mean that guy that never talks?
No, someone else.
Guinevere: Nope. Haven't seen him.
Farkas: What about with your mind?
Guinevere: ...
You said bathroom, right? It's been an hour.
Alaska: He said he really had to go.
El-ahrairah: Okay, okay, this is how we settle it... whoever says-
Guinevere: NOT IT!
Farkas: No fair! You're psychic...
El-ahrairah: Stupid psychic... stupid... stuck with stinky poo all the time...
Oh, so, now EVERYONE needs to help potty train Isolde.
There you are. Get off the toilet.
Abbot: But-
NO BUTS!
Sheesh. Finally.
Longest poo in Sim history.
Boy, are you crying?
Sophie: He totally is...
El-ahrairah: Why'd you have to shove me?
Sophie: Cause you're like, a dork.
You invited Sophie on purpose.
Guinevere: Payback is a literal b***h!
Sophie: ... But a cute dork too.
Well that backfired. *whisper* don't tell Guinevere...
Abbot: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amooooooreeeeee
Alaska: Daaaw! <3
Well, at least you turned from your crazy obsessions to more productive skills.
Hermione: Abbot wasn't dinner.
Why are you ruining her painting?
Farkas: El-ahrairah said it will make the pineapple fairies happy.
The what?
Farkas: The pineapple fairies that live in the paintbrushes.
Uh.... carry on then???
Hostess: Yes, yes, another pleasure sim with a red fun bar. We can spot your kind in any crowd. Trust me, the pajamas hardly phase me.
Waitress: I am the totally unnecessary waitress at this seedy fast food restaurant! How can I help you today?
El-ahrairah: Yes, how about some nachos.
Another Rainbow Legacy sim stalks the corners of my lots! Phoenix Deppiesse everyone!
Little Isolde, all snuggled up. She's like a wittle puffball of cute.
Farkas: Can you say 'squid'?
Isolde: Swid!
Farkas: No, no. Squid.
Isolde: Skid!
Farkas: Close enough.
Hermione: The drumming of a multitude of heartbeats echoes in the caverns of my brain...
Totally unfazed by the former painting's destruction, she continues on.
Hermione: And the blood of the disembodied entity lathers my tongue in a dark, frothy drink.
Eeew...
El-ahrairah: This game isn't fun anymore. You always predict my moves.
Guinevere: Um, it's called practicing karate...
I hope you're thinking NICE thoughts as you try to fall asleep, dear.
Hermione: The pulsing of her jugular just makes my mouth water.
GO SLEEP IN YOUR OWN BED!
Alaska: Ugh, is this morning sickness?
You bet! Baby J on the Waaaaay!
Hermione: Fricken fracken, Mom puking all over the house...
That's for being such a little creep last night.
The cute! Can't contain!
The art is strong in these two!
Swallowed a watermelon seed?
Alaska: No, you idiot, it's a baby.
You swallowed a baby!
Alaska: ....
Alaska: Hey there Headmaster! Wouldn't you love to put my kids in your school?
Headmaster: I'd like to put *mumble* inside of *mumble* if you know what I mean.
Alaska: Hahaha! You're such a charmer! *internally screaming*
Guinevere: What is MY MOTHER doing with THAT MAN!?
It's called getting you in private school.
Headmaster: A BABY!!!!?
Alaska: Now you noticed?
Headmaster: And it's NOT MINE?
Alaska: We never did the do, you know that, right?
Headmaster: Your house is so... so... I can't think of the word...?
Alaska: Impressive?
Headmaster: More like... disastrous... I love it!
Headmaster: I LOVE IT!
Farkas: Mom, is he staring at my butt?
Alaska: Just shut up and paint, Farkas.
Guinevere: Hey, since I'm the most charismatic kid in here, can you put us in private school.
Headmaster: Eh, I guess so.
Guinevere: You'll get to see my mom more often.
Headmaster: *licks lips* *weird noises* Deal!
El-ahrairah: What happened to your FACE?
Tosha: It's called plastic surgery using cheat objects.
El-ahrairah: So like, aliens?
Tosha: Ooooh, you must be the resident cinnamon roll.
El-ahrairah: Pssh, no that's my brother.
El-ahrairah: See! Red Hands is a simple game to learn.
Hermione: If I catch them, can I keep them?
El-ahrairah: What? No. Just slap them.
Hermione: *licks lips* Hands...
El-ahrairah: Well, *sigh* time for me to fly this chicken coop.
Alaska: WHOOOT!
Guinevere: Happy Birthday!
Farkas: We'll miss you!
Hermione: You still owe me a pair of well tenderized hands...
Hey! Not bad!
El-ahrairah: Thanks darling! Now where's my house?
Not so fast. First is a magical land called the Sim Bin.
*sigh* The disappointment settles.
Guinevere: Time for me to get a JOB! Business is where it is at.
Well they sure were desperate.
Guinevere: See yah, suckers! I'm off to make some money!
Second bump!
Farkas: That's strange. I thought I heard a boing.
Alaska: I'm having the baby!
Hermione: Aww, a baby! Will it be cute?
Not edible cute.
Hermione: Eew, I won't eat babies.
And this is Jory. He has brown hair and brown eyes.
Yah know.
Like almost all his siblings before him.
Guinevere: Don't listen to the disembodied entity. It's jealous because you are a CUUUUTIEEE!!!
Girl where you going?
Going places.
Whee!
Say what?
So, Isolde grew up without me noticing. She has a rather nice, simple outfit that is also elegant.
Despite having Komei as a father, his face template did not distort her face as I expected.
Isolde: Thanks for those words of encouragement!
Wow, that... that wasn't sarcastic at all. I am speechless.
Isolde: Is it true that Guinevere is a psychic?
Hermione: That's what El-ahrairah and Farkas say.
Isolde: Is this car psychic too?
Hermione: No.
Chumped into doing the chores?
Isolde: No. I really like helping out around the house. I think I'll clean the tub next.
Who are you and what have you done with the weird?
Guinevere: Look at Jory! He just nom noms all the milk right up!
He is definitely a cutie. And such a quiet baby!
Guinevere: He is a perfect baby!
Ahhhh let's make sure Dorian's not lurking somewhere to hear that.
Isolde: Can I go to this private school too?
Of course. But we'll have to call the Headmaster.
Isolde: Why so grumbly?
Let's just say it leaves everyone a little traumatized.
WOMAN WHY YOU NO PREGNANT! OMG THERE IS A WALKBY OUTSIDE! GO MAKE SOME BABIES!
Kennedy Cox!
*immature snickering*
Mailman: *immature snickering*
Oh shut up and stuff those bills up your butthole.
Alaska: Nice to meet you kind sir.
Kennedy: A pleasure, madam.
Cyrano's cousin, I assume.
Kennedy: Oh yah, I'm a Scorpio.
Another untouchable introvert. *sigh* We're in for another long haul.
Alaska: Nice catch there, Farkas! Make me some grandbabies!
Farkas: *totally not paying attention*
The bus sat there for an hour because Meadow Thayer was positioned just so that no one could get off.
Hermione: yarr harr, me mateys! The dreaded English Navy be a comin' to steal arrr treasure! Stow the hands and hides the feets! Buckle down the liverrs and stash thee harts! If they be gettin our meats, we dun ever eats!
Isolde: I love painting flowers. I think flowers smell very nice, don't you?
*basks in the normalcy for once)
Farkas: And the obtuse angle has no wings. But it does have a halo. Wings would be pointless because obtuse angles are too fat to fly. Acute angles fly very fast though and have shiny silver halos.
Hermione:
Crap, Isolde is in the company of others. Now how am I going to ask her for a hand.
Ah, young love...
Isolde: I don't quite understand the concept of this game...
Hermione: Just keep shooting at me, and I'll keep dodging. It's called "practice".
Isolde: For what?
Hermione: Dodging bullets.
Isolde: I don't know... bullets are scary...
Who's homework is dis? Someone be getting a low grade from the squid today!
Alaska: SMOOOOCH!
Kennedy: omnom welcome back from mmmmffffmmm work...
Alaska: Kennedy, we- oh, it's YOU again...
Kitsune: ...
Alaska: Don't give me that lip. WHY are you ALWAYS in my house???
Kennedy: He doesn't live here? I thought he was like your brother or something.
Alaska: No, he's a total stranger. I don't even know his name.
Kennedy: Could have fooled me.
Kitsune: *quietly leaving*
To go play on the swing...
Seriously, he does not take lip from anybody. I had several of the kids dismiss him a DOZEN times, and he just swung like a fiend.
Hermione: Another day, another- whoop... what the?
Hey, congratulations!
Hermione: These pajamas are the color of plump, fresh skin!
Ooookay...
Hermione Bears.
She rolled Family!
What the what?
Her Lifetime Want is to be a Captain Hero. She likes creative blondes and does not like the unemployed.
Hermione: I have TASTES.
Hermione: This seems more of something Isolde would do. I mean, flowers...?
YOU rolled family. At least try to use some more gentle, sweet talents.
Hermione: Fine, fine. If you insist.
After some time, she got bronze badge!
Alaska: Ugh, this oven reeks! I need to clean it more often!
That or maybe those chimes are kicking in!
Alaska: I did not invite you here. Stop. Please. Put down the chess piece.
Farkas: WHAT'S HAPPENING!
Farkas...
Farkas: I'M GOING TO EXPLODE! OMG!
Farkas...
Farkas: SPARKLES! OH NO! I'M BECOMING A UNICORN!
Farkas: Hmm, I guess I'm an adult now.
Really? No unicorn comments?
Farkas: No, not really.
B-but my weird cinnamon roll...
Farkas: Well, time for Jory's birthday. Happy Birthday little guy!
OH
My
Gawd
He is SOOOOO CUTE!
Sorry Brandybuck, but Jory is officially the cutest toddler!!!!
Off to the Sim Bin for you.
Farkas: Will I ever hear you again?
Someday, I'm sure. You won't stay binned forever.
Farkas: Well, till then...
Alaska: Usually Farkas would be doing this, but he's gone now. *sigh*
Jory: Wa wa.
Headmaster: Ugh, the smell of the uneducated is flooding into my nostrils.
Headmaster: Well Hellloooooooo lady!
Hermione: AGH! What the!? Why are you staring at me?
Headmaster: You're a fine piece of flesh, aint you?
Hermione: I'm going back inside!!!!
Headmaster: I could see that in my school ANYTIME.
Headmaster: YOU should take more tips from that younger sister of yours.
Guinevere: You disgust me.
Headmaster: Popping in the kitchen, hmm? I do so like a girl with curves. *licks lips*
Alaska: RUINED THE MOMENT!
Alaska: So, yah know, school... feel like educating my lovely children?
Headmaster: Oh, I could educate that one flower of yours in quite a few things, mmMmm.
I MUST toddler spam! Jory is just too adorable for words! Look at that face!
Guinevere: I just want to be an adult. Private school has never been so creepy!
You can thank Hermione for that.
Who is currently impersonating a fish...
Oh don't cry, baboo! The potty is a good! It gives me points!
Precious and unaffected by her weird family: Isolde everyone.
Alaska: That's it, my little Jory, walk with Mommy!
Second bump! *toots trumpets*
Alaska: Really? That's a bit much.
Hermione: Can you say "ribs"?
Jory: Rib a-wib!
Hermione: Can you say "steak"?
Jory: Shake!
Hermione: Can you say "flesh"?
Jory: Fresh!
Please, someone, take over for Hermione.
No, Isolde, really, you can take a break you know.
Isolde: Just let me finish the toilet... and shower... and take out the trash...
Silver badge!
She wanted a badge in something, so I gave her a toy bench. Now she and Hermione can both skill up without problems.
Alaska: AAGHHH!
Jory: AAAAHHHH!!!
Baby Keris! Isn't she PRECIOUS!
With brown hair and.... you know the routine.
Alright, that's it, no more learning anything from Hermione!
Shameless toddler spam.
Be safe with my baboo, Hermione...
Shameless toddler spam.
Hermione: I want lots of kids of my own too.
Hopefully it will sate your thirst for blood.
Guinevere: I'm going to be an adult soon. I'll miss this crazy family.
Aww, well, we'll see more of you again. Maybe you'll even get your own family.
Alaska: Hey! Brandon... remember me? Yah! ... So, do you like doing aerobic activities in beds?
I hope the delicacy rubs off on you.
SHAMELESS!
I AM SHAMELESS IN MY TODDLER SPAM!!!
See, I knew it would rub off on you.
Hermione: What? It's nothing really. Keris was just hungry.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL GRILLED CHEESE, DO NOT BE THE ONLY MALE SIM ON THIS LOT! PLEASE! NOT YOU GOOPY!!!! NOT YOU!!!
Oh thank the Grilled Cheese maker.
It's Dion Dawson. And he's a LEEOOOOOOOO!!!
Taking notes.
Random sibling reunion in the background.
So, there's Komei just floating around, and he saw Alaska flirting with Dion. Suffice to say, he got the whole "they were cheating". But like the introvert he is, he internalized it and just browsed things elsewhere, probably dying inside as he tried to figure out if it was something he did or wether she even ever loved him to begin with.
VERY attractive face pull, Dion.
So, line up for Daddy of Baby L!
Serious, again, but he has dark blue eyes, which I love.
But first.... *sobs*
Alaska: Um, disembodied entity...
*sobbing*
Alaska: You gonna be okay?
I DON'T WANT MY BABY TO GROW UP!!!!!!
Alaska: ... um... we're gonna blow the candles out now...
fflllbbbtttt NEW OUTIFT!
THE MOST BEAUTIFULEST BABY EVER!
JORY!
I LOVE YOU! *hugs*
You're gonna break my heart someday.
Jory: Um... th-thanks...
Hermione: Sure, Guinevere feeds Keris, but I get stuck changing diapers... *sigh*
Hermione: You're lucky that you're so cute.
Just chillin'?
Alaska: You could say that.
Oh hey, a jingle!
Dion: SNOOORE!
Guinevere - facing every mealtime with her face.
Jory: Did someone kill her? We have to avenge her now, right?
Hermione: No, no. She's not dead. I WOULD KNOW!
I end this chapter with some Mommy-Keris cute!
With Baby L as the bun in the oven ^^
And I need more Isolde pics. She uh... she just spent most of her days painting and cleaning...
Poor, neglected, normal sims...
OFF TO POINTS!
Call a random 800 number now!